Today, I came across some vlogs. There were some by Christopher Corrigan, he was the mayor of the tent city at Gallaudet University last year. That's not really the point here, what I found to be truly appalling was how some people responded. You know how some people can leave such rude comments for everybody to read. Here's one that caught my attention, a mother who tries to put the blame on Deaf Culture and the deaf community for the problems with her deaf son. Of course, she chose to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. Three of the comments quoted below came from SignCasts.Hi, I chose to remain anyomous and here is the reason why I do not believe you.
I am a hearing mother to two sons. One of my sons are deaf and the another son is hearing.
My deaf son has always been a very wild child and he is always in trouble with the police. I have always been very deeply disappointed with my deaf son. He is a liar and a drug addict dragging his feet ahead and his life one step at a time, much to his own destruction.
I really hate what the deaf community has done to my son and now for the first time, I truly understand why he did not succeed at Gallaudet University. Yes, my son went there and I saw the kind of Deaf people he hung with, as a mother my stomach turned in knots as I left him at Gallaudet University that day. My son likes to say Gally and I find that digusting as a parent.
The problem is not the security officers.
The problem is the deaf community itself.
My another son is hearing and has always been a good and very wonderful child. He grew up and enlisted in the U.S. Navy and now works in a very honorable profession and my deaf son is always begging my hearing son for money.
Christopher Corrigan, Are you trying to beg for money by suing Gallaudet University ? You do realize these security officers have a family and they work very hard to keep college kids safe and you as the theif that you are stealing money from Gallaudet University and the deaf community ?
I really wish my son was not like you. I am very disappointed and I think that deep down inside your parents and your sister knows this is true and they are afraid to admit the honest truth to you because you are a very wild and a very un-safe child.
My hearing son is a real man.
My deaf son is just a boy, just like you are a boy.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Conduct youtself properly and apologize for lying and getting the deaf community into trouble. I see you have affected the deaf community both on and off campus very profoundly and very negatively.
Apologize to the security officers and their families. This is the right thing to do.
Then a person made a response to the mother. This response is called for as the mother's comment was pretty appalling and clearly bitter. Just another case of where a parent try to put the blame on the deaf people for screwing up her life and her deaf son's.This is in response to the mother with two sons: one deaf son and one hearing son. After reading your email, I have been wondering what kind of mother you were to your deaf son. How did you feel when you discovered that your son is deaf? Did you treat both your deaf and hearing sons equally when they were growing up? Are you fluent in American Sign Language? I already have a suspension. Some deaf people are angry and messed up their lives because their parents do not accept their deafness and don't bother to learn sign language. It is a terrible tragedy.
Well-said. What the commenter just said above is absolutely true about some parents being unable to accept the child's deafness. Instead, they blame the deaf community for their children's problems. I'm deaf and I come from a hearing family, I was exposed to Deaf Culture at a young age and started learning sign language at three. My parents were serious about exposing me to the other deaf people as a way of learning from their mistakes and struggles in their lives. Both of me and my parents learned a lot from it. They appreciate the culture very much.
I am not a wild person. I don't smoke pot, I don't do drugs. I don't get drunk every night. I don't get into trouble with the police. I don't get into fist fights with anyone. Never has and I certainly hope I won't have to.
The truth is, it's the mother's fault but she isn't willing to accept it. She is throwing it out onto us. In fact, she publicly declare her disappointment with her deaf son and called her hearing son a real man.
She claimed to have treated them equally.
A mother can say that, but how much truth is there to that claim? Even though I don't know her personally, but I have known a lot of parents of deaf children and I am definitely familiar with the problems that plague these families. I was once a peer helper in high school and counselled deaf students. Family problems was a big factor in many of their personal struggles and disciplinary problems. I'm sure a lot of Deaf bloggers know what I'm talking about as they've seen it firsthand too as well. It's easy to assume only to end up being wrong but my firsthand experiences has taught me a lot about the deaf community and the struggles they face through their childhood, adolescent and adulthood.Don't you dare question me as a mother and as a woman of good integrity. I am highly respected. I taught my son SEE and he learned the improper, dirty language of ASL. He does not know how to write very well in English. IMHO, ASL ought to be banned from all Deaf schools, universities and in the Deaf community. SEE should be the official language. I took my son to see " Children of a lesser god. " What does my husband and I see? The lights were turned on and we all saw the deaf dafts fighting with their fists and deaf girls ripping each other's hair. I had to cover my son's eyes as I did not want him to see blood and violence. We left quickly before the staff ejected these daft characters out of the cinema. I never allowed my son to watch " Children of lesser god " ever again, not even on t.v. I was truly horrified when the Deaf community attacked the wonderful Deaf actress, Marlee Matlin. My own son told me Marlee Matlin is not successful and I slapped his face so hard because that was complete disrespect for a wonderful woman and I told him to never talk like that about successful people ever again but he continues to backstab successful people.
Take a good look at Christopher Corrigan who is just like my son and that is not a very successful man. This is a deeply troubled boy and we have done everything to help him be a successful man and he insulted me, Do you really want to know where those insults are from ? He learned to insult me through the deaf community. I have done nothing to insult the deaf community, yet you deaf daft punks have been insulting me as a mother for many years. I can remember when I sent my hearing son to Boy scout camp and I asked my deaf son if he wanted to go with his brother. He said no and he wanted to go to Deaf camp. I told him no because I knew what would happen. My husband was fed up and told me " Just send him to Deaf camp, here is the money and the registration. We need some peace and you need to have low blood pressure. We both need a break from him." He attended deaf camp and he got caught fighting then a few days later he was caught pressuring a girl to have sex and smoke the illegal substance called marijuana which I am sure college students are familiar with marijuana. I call the young punks who smoke the illegal substance the " Idiots " that they really are, idiots. My hearing son went on to earn badges and awards from the honorable organization, Boy Scouts of America. My hearing son gained vaublable skills and he is honest and very responsible. He budgets money very well. I am proud as a mother that my hearing son did not rape girls or force girls to smoke marijuana against her will.
I treated both of my sons as equals and I am very sad to say my deaf son did not measure up like a man. The women were always asking for my hearing son. I was very proud of that, as a mother but I was very horrified when drunk and probably high on drugs men showed up asking for my deaf son and they were all men wanting homosexual sex with my deaf son. I was in tears and that really broke my heart and it sickens me that the deaf community loves being a homosexual. Homosexuality is widely accepted in the deaf community with so much a second thought as to what is really wrong with homosexuality. It is un-natural and homosexuality destroys families. I never will accept homosexuality and I am proud to say we are doing the right thing naturally, for God and as a family to reject homosexuality.
The another thing that sickens me and I think deaf power is one big lie and there is nothing wrong with the hearing community. We are not the oppressors. The only oppressing that is being done around here is the deaf community who keeps on oppressing another deaf people, how shameful !!! Please go on and criticize me as the horrible mother who has never been good to my deaf son ? I just have to laugh at this whole debacle and when my son had the orange thing I think it was a deaf history book and I saw the pictures of the schools, " The Instruction for the Deaf and the Dumb ". I thought how fitting and it is funny how the deaf community rejects that and my husband, in his own words said, " 'You can't teach the deaf and the dumb worth a shit. " I think that is a very honest and a truthful statement my husband made and I agree wholeheartedly with my husband.
The mother clearly was defensive in quite an aggressive manner. She clearly didn't want her integrity to be questioned. Well, when you choose to keep your identity a secret and badmouth your deaf son in such a disdaining manner, people will question your integrity whether you like it or not. The person had the right to question her integrity because it's not the first time we've seen a parent trying to blame us for their deaf children's problems. Nice touch on the Anti-ASL sentiments there, I'll say.
It often boils down to how a parent treat and educate a child.
By the way, what kind of a mother slap her son in the face so hard just because he said Marlee Matlin wasn't a successful actress? My mother wouldn't, that's for sure. That's his opinion and shouldn't be punished for speaking his mind. You should take another good look at yourself in the mirror and wonder if you truly did what was the best for your son. I don't think slapping him in the face was the way to do it. My parents have never, never slapped me in the face. If you slapped him for that, I'm sure that wasn't the first time you did that.
If a child said the "F" word to the parent's face, a small slap would had been understandable but a HARD slap in the face for saying Marlee Matlin wasn't successful in her career? I'm questioning her integrity because I find her claims to be somewhere questionable. I just find it hard to believe that a mother would actually slap a child's face so hard over a harmless remark.
People will always try to blame us for their problems and failures. Just like the others try to blame other minorities (Hispanic, Blind, Handicapped, etc) for their problems when the root of the problem is really within the family. Heck, people even try to blame Hollywood for their problems.
It's all sour grapes, that's all it is.
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3/25/2007 7:04 PM
*rolled my eyes*
The real question here is: Do an hearing mother know well enough or understand enoguh about her deaf child? Not all mothers do because they do not know what's like being in shoes.
It is pretty much same in hearing world where there is bad group with bad influences. Just same in deaf community.
I'm just grateful my mom doesnt end up like her. It is her words against her son. But I'm still appalled how negative she is about her son.
It's very sad. Really.
3/25/2007 7:06 PM
Wow, that is just so unbelievably sad. It sounds to me like the hearing son has been successful despite his mother/family life, in this case. Like you, I cannot imagine slapping a child for stating his opinion of someone...that is just so wrong. Look also at how she describes ASL as dirty, improper. Wow. Just...wow... Stop for a moment and just imagine how you'd feel if your own parents said that about your language. That's what she needs to do, but obviously does not have the capacity to do so...
3/25/2007 7:22 PM
I taught my son SEE and he learned the improper, dirty language of ASL.
*eyes bug out*
Holy frigging GOD. I feel so sorry for both of those kids now. What a horrible, horrible woman.
Oh, the childhood both of those kids must have had. *sigh*
3/25/2007 7:23 PM
This mother demonstrated a lack of sensitivity and understanding toward deaf community. She is very biased and judgemental so who needs that. I just hope that not many hearing parents think like that and I just shiver when I think about this kind of perspective she has toward deaf people.
What a bigot hearing mother of a deaf being.
3/25/2007 7:27 PM
Barb, this woman demonstrated a lack of basic humanity, and given her vehemence against anything she dislikes (ahd her anti-gay and gaybashing bigotry) I strongly suspect she is simply a vicious, evil abusive person to ward everyone, deaf, hearing, absolutely everyone. It's just that her deaf son had that and his homosexuality for her to blame.
That woman is an abusive, evil person. The physical and emotional abuse that those kids must have put up with is terrifying to contemplate. This is worse than dislike of one cultural minority. This woman is evil.
(I almost hope she shows up and tries to spew her horrific, abusive garbage here. I'm in the mood for a fight after reading such garbage.)
3/25/2007 7:27 PM
To whom it may concern: (that mother).
DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION ME AS A DEAF PERSON AND AS A MAN OF GOOD INTEGRITY.
I am a Deaf person came from wonderful lovable hearing family who have accepted who I am. I am very lucky to have them as my own parents. Thank God you are not my mother! Your comment is very unfair to your own Deaf son and Deaf community.
Deafchip
3/25/2007 7:34 PM
My stomach is ina tight knot over this mothers comments oh how I feel for her son having this kind of mother. Ithink she's never come to terms with his deafness and took it out on him as if its his fault her life is so difficult.
As a mother of two sons I learned that all children at utmost an individiual! So what if he hearing son is perfect? That has nothing to do with deafness or hearingness. It has more to do with personality. My older son is more wild than my younger son. I taught them the same values and communicate with both of them the same way. You can't expect each child of yours to turn similarily its unrealistic her son may happen to be wild by nature.
But I stil feel badly for the son having to put up with this kind of mother. Slap his face for merely exercising his first amendment? His opinion? Sounds like she is a controlling personality. She didn't even let him finish watching children of lesser god jiut because she saw mild violence? Fighting? That's all ? She never got to see why the movie was nominated for oscars and why mm got an oscar.
Has it occured to her perhaps her hearing son went into military just to escape from her controlling nature?? I know for fact many children do! Military welcome many enlisted from broken homes. She needs to take a good look at herself.
3/25/2007 7:42 PM
Cy, I totally agree. Neither of her children want anything to do with her, and the one that joined up probably did do so to get the hell out of the house.
Partly, it was that "How Dare You Question Me!" response that set off my warning bells. That is an abuser's language. This woman had her son's deafness to focus on and blame, but she would have been a misery to any child in her care. "Don't you dare question me!" is the sort of thing that is said to a six year old right before the fist comes. I cannot imagine a healthy person saying that, especially thinking it would work when said to a bunch of strangers over the net who haven't been under her thumb for the first 18 years of our lives.
What she fails to realize is that not a single living soul on the Internet fears her, pathetic nobody that she is. She is a primo, grade-A sicko.
3/25/2007 7:58 PM
Apparently, the mother seems very angry towards Chris Coorigan, maybe Chris came in their lives and "woke up" their deaf son to embrace deafhood and other things. I'm not sure.
She also said that he has become a drug addict, it is an illness itself, he needs to go and get rehabiliation for drug abuse. I wonder if there is good rehabilitation services for deaf people who are addicted to drugs here in Washington DC area?
Obviously the mother and the father as well are very bitter and angry at the deaf community. I feel bad for the deaf son who may be reading this. Imagine if my mom wrote this, I would be so angry and upset with her.
I wish there was some resolution and that the hearing parents would come to their realization that not all deaf people are bad and that there is hope for their deaf son and faciliate a positive family relationship.
3/25/2007 8:04 PM
This is wild and this has to be made up. Seriously, what mother views SignCasts if she does not know ASL? Especially below the level of Chris' rapid-fire ASL? This is someone with a personal grudge against Chris. Nevertheless, this is a good storytelling model of a hardcore audist, IMO.
3/25/2007 8:06 PM
Me thinks this mother is someone who has a grudge on Chris and me thinks this mother is not even a mom to a deaf/hearing son. It sounds like someone who was involved in scuffle = dps/dps spouse/who knows!!!
Similar writings on several posts. Just my opinion. Why isn't signcasts on deafread? is deafread moderated?
3/25/2007 8:23 PM
Maybe it's in her bad genes LOL
3/25/2007 8:23 PM
Hmmm ... it could definitely be someone faking. But if it were faked by someone who dislikes Chris, why make him the victim of an attack by such a hateworthy fake villain? That would make Chris seem like the good guy. Might it be a supporter?
However, in retrospect, I think you're right. I was assuming that "her" English was that of a non-native speaker since it's marked with some non-standard uses. They might be markers indicating that "she" is a Deaf person masquerading as hearing, someone inside of the conflict ... ?
3/25/2007 8:39 PM
Hmm. It's hard to say if it's a deaf person writing that or not. The English's not perfect, but many hearing people's English aren't perfect either.
I do question however, the mother's ability to understand Chris Corrigan's vlog. He signs ASL fluently, and rapidly at that.
Something's not right about this. But if that's real, the mother's an emotionally and physically abusive person. Yikes!
3/25/2007 8:41 PM
Anonymous, deafread is moderated to an extent, since not all bloggers blog about deaf stuff all the time (only about half my own posts make it to deafread) and that's fine with me.
You can get the complete feed using the DeafRead Extra which is completely unmoderated.
ANyway, Im not sure why you think the post was not put on DeafRead.com. Signcasts is indeed on deafread.com.
Go to www.deafread.com and search (upper right hand corner) for signcast in that box. You will get a page, scroll down a little bit and you will see:
Another Incident with DPS...
SignCasts - Mon, Mar 05 2007
read more [...]
That is the post which contained the mother's hateful comments.
3/25/2007 9:49 PM
Banj, i think the woman is bogus. See how she uses the capital D for Deaf? This is written by either a deaf person or someone very knowledgeable of Deaf culture. Well, anyhow, that's my interpretation.
3/25/2007 9:53 PM
Bogus or not, it's certainly an attack on the deaf community and the culture.
3/25/2007 10:06 PM
I won't even comment on that mother's messages. It's just too insane and upsetting. I also do wonder if she's not really who she claims to be? Who knows.
However, i saw some comments left by angry deaf people saying how they have a hard time finding jobs due to the fact that they graduated from Gallaudet. That makes me nervous! I want to attend Gallaudet so much and have been working toward that goal, i don't want to end up in a situation like that. How unfair that would be :(
3/25/2007 10:28 PM
Deaf Pundit, it just struck me because the usage reminded me of some south Asian non-native speakers, but a person with that usage pattern wouldn't know about SEE or know enough about ASL to even consider it "dirty." The attitudes espoused in the screeds (which seem like very homegrown American caricatures to me) don't fit with the speaker's story and language usage.
I do think it's bogus in retrospect. I agree with Banjo that it's still an attack, but it's a more complex one that it appears to be.
3/25/2007 10:37 PM
Sabotage, pure and simple.
3/25/2007 10:50 PM
The Mother is beyond stupidity! She should NEVER slap her deaf son's face at all. My parents always slapped my face for no reason. My parents had no clue how to "communicate" with me because of my deafness. I wish I could slap thier face to see how they feel. My parents and I have a very bad relationship. They disowned me because I am gay. It is thier problem. The mother is predjuice person. She should not have judge about gay people.
I am proud to be deaf and gay! There is nothing wrong with it. It is better to tell the truth than hide in the closet.
3/25/2007 11:11 PM
Drmzz,
Gotta admit I never thought the mother might be a bogus. I know there ARE parents with grudges against deaf communithy when they percieve their deaf children as failures. Rather than placing fault within themselves, they feel they must place burden of fault upon someone else - in this case, the deaf community.
Yeah. Her understanding Chris Corrigan is suspicious but she did not say she understood what he was saying. All she said he signed in "dirty" ASL. That says she perceives ASL not as a language but a destruction to her son. It is not known if she understood Chris. She only understood he didn't use SEE.
But then, "dirty" does not fit with the context of that sentence. The more appropriate word would be "filthy." So it may be a deaf person masquerading as a hearing mother with a personal vendetta against Chris, Gallaudet, and deaf community at large.
I guess it doesn't matter - what does matter is there ARE parents out there just like this "mother."
3/25/2007 11:44 PM
The mother shows intolerance to anyone who is different from the norms, including her own son who is deaf, ASL user, and gay. Her hatred blinds her to the fact her son has needs not being met by the hearing world. Instead of looking in herself and the hearing world, she blames the deaf community.
Let's hope she is bogus.
3/26/2007 1:22 AM
Cy, this is just wild, which lead to various interpretations. This person attacked everybody, the deaf, asl, gay, etc. This looks like it came from a creative and vindictive person. It's a wonder how a child "on drugs" can even manage to enroll in college after living with such parents. No parent should ever discount their own child like that in a public forum, it's not the norm. I see red flags instead. What is it like in real life, I suppose we hear some horror stories.
Banjo, at first I thought someone was dissin' you from subject line and I'm like, "What the..", but it make for an eyebrow-raising read anyway. Tasteless. Karma will take care of it for this person I guess.
3/26/2007 7:18 AM
http://aslisrisen.blogspot.com/2007/03/response-to-banjos-blog.html
3/26/2007 8:15 AM
This mother is not very smart thing to do. She have judged on deaf community, cultures, and so on too much.
Obviously, I can see that this mother did not show her love for her deaf son.
This mother KNOWS that she did NOT doing her great job raising her deaf son, but she won't admit it.
This mother is VERY defensive and have judged between her hearing and deaf sons' abilities.
This mother is an evil person overall.
White Ghost
3/26/2007 11:24 AM
Sure sounds like my mother, if not that I know she doesn't have sons! I have a different perception on that mother that I read on here. I suspect that she may have Narcisstic and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorders. Having a parent with NPD and OCPD, it would be a NIGHTMARE for a deaf child (or any disabled child) because no matter how the child tries, the mother WILL always favor one child above the other; expecially if there is a hearing child and a deaf child. In my opinion (and experiences in both personal and professional), it won't matter if the mother is familiar with the deaf culture or not, she will ALWAYS see it as a flaw.
3/26/2007 1:00 PM
Why don't you, hearing parents get involved getting more resources for hearing parents with deaf children? We, deaf people can't do all work ourselves. We need teamwork.. That deaf son must act out because he must have serious problems with his hearing family. We can't believe you, that hearing mom because that deaf son has not told us his side of story.
Now you, hearing parents should do something about getting resources, jobs, housings, etc for your deaf children. Do not leave all responsiblity to deaf communities.
Thank you, a deaf Mental Health therapist
3/26/2007 1:12 PM
Hey Mother of this deaf son you cant blame the world for ur failture with ur deaf son . Ur son is the ones who decides using the drugs and his choice of sexual orientation. It is nothing do with his involement at Gallaudet Univ .U need to love and support ur son no matter if he is deaf or hearing and be there for him go through turmoil and difficult time. You need to be open communicate with ur son and understand his views on Life . Life is too short for remaining a bitter person . Pls forgive ur deaf son for his mistkaes on his life . he will grow to be a better person .
3/26/2007 4:23 PM
Boy.....The mother will wonder why she was accusing the deaf community....
3/26/2007 6:38 PM
I TOTALLY agree with Jimm. This letter writer is a troll. And probably enjoying every second of all the hoo-ha he's stirred up.
3/28/2007 2:46 AM
Mommie Dearest screamed at her Deaf son,
"NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!"
3/28/2007 12:59 PM
After viewing the vlog for abt 30 seconds, it hit me -- how the hell does the mother know what Chris was talking abt? His signing was rapid-fire. The mother was expounding on how wonderful SEE is. It's a definite troll.
Yes, it's sad that there *are* people like the mother.
3/28/2007 6:54 PM
I think that maybe it is possible that over the years his mother un-consiciously picked up enough ASL from her son to be able to understand what CC was saying. I don't think this is a troll and I think this is a real life mother because some mothers are alocholic and very controlling and I was reading the mother's comments. It struck me that she may be an alocholic. I don't know but I can understand his mother wanting the best for her son and I think this is a natural desire of mothers everywhere to want the best for her children. It sounds like the Deaf son has already been all grown up and chances are that I am not too surprised that he is probably not living with his mom to avoid conflict. I also agree and dis-agree with some of the things that were said on Signcasts. At least somebody's mom was brave enough to say what she really thought and the Deaf community could take a few good pointers from all of this, Deafies backstabbing, the fighting in public places and all of that is something hearing people normally do not do. It seems to be more normal and commonplace in the Deaf community and I think we as a Deaf community have a long way to go before we can really know how to live in peace and leave another Deaf people alone when it comes to conflicting issues in the Deaf community. Myself, I was shocked when I first read the mother/son comments but then I stopped to look at it from the Deaf perspective then the hearing's perspective too. I think I can understand why on both sides of the Deaf v.s. hearing debate.
5/02/2007 4:23 PM
Oh my god...I desperately want to believe she was a troll. I really want to believe it was just pretend, she was just making it up. But...I don't think she was. And that is SAD.